The desire to care for the person next to you
This discussion will focus on closeness—not physical, but emotional or spiritual. It is intimacy and heartfelt connection. It is what allows us to feel at ease and free when we are with another person.Here I will describe the conditions necessary for a sense of closeness to emerge. And I will touch on the circumstances under which emotional closeness disappears.
Closeness is when it’s not scary to be yourself and when you don’t have to pretend to be anything you’re not. It is when you are accepted with all your flaws. Young children experience this state; they are very sincere in their expressions. It is also present in couples who have recently fallen in love, when they see each other through “rose-colored glasses.” Their relationship is marked by intimacy and sincerity. At this stage, partners don’t notice each other’s flaws. Or if they do, they don’t judge them critically; they seem like trifles, a “quirk” of their partner.
In other words, if you aren’t afraid to be yourself around someone, that’s a strong sign that your relationship has the potential to become a close one.
Over time, something happens—perhaps the “love hormones” stop working. Partners begin to notice each other’s major flaws; perhaps they’re simply getting to know each other better. What used to be a “charming quirk” starts to annoy them. And a negative view of the other person emerges. And when a person is judged very harshly, they start to shut down or dismiss the person judging them (“They don’t realize what they’re saying” or “Their opinion doesn’t matter to me”). And now the closeness begins to fade.
2. The desire to care for the person next to you
If this desire is present, there is a high likelihood that emotional closeness will develop.
At the beginning of a relationship, you want to take care of the other person; you want to anticipate their needs and do things for them without waiting for them to ask. But over time, that desire fades. People can live in the same apartment, sleep in the same bed, and kiss each other on the cheek when saying goodbye, but they don’t want to care for one another. And there’s no intimacy. This may be due to a negative assessment. Maybe someone disappointed you: they presented themselves as one person but turned out to be quite another. Maybe they constantly criticize you, pointing out your flaws. But in any case, people drift apart; they don’t want to have anything in common with one another.
When criticism, disrespect, or negativity arises between people, they usually no longer wish to treat each other with tenderness. When tenderness fades, so does intimacy. Here, tenderness isn’t about
pleasurephysical, but emotional or spiritual. It is intimacy and heartfelt connection. It is what allows us to feel at ease and free when we are with another person.4. Accepting a person as they are. Without the desire or judgment to change them
I’ll return to the beginning of a relationship, when partners are wearing “rose-colored glasses,” when they adore each other and believe they’ve found the perfect partner. Back then, it doesn’t occur to them that their partner needs to change; their flaws seem insignificant. But over time, everything changes: those flaws start to annoy us, and we judge their behavior negatively. And so, we push them away. A person won’t want to get close to us. If we don’t accept a person as they are, if we want to change them, there will be no intimacy, no matter how much we want it. Intimacy is a two-way street—it’s impossible to have a close relationship with someone who doesn’t want it.
It’s not uncommon for people to be in the same room but not interact, each lost in their own thoughts. For example: a family is walking in the park. The husband is on his own, the wife is on her own, and their child is running around somewhere. They went to the park simply because it’s customary to take a walk with the child on a day off. But they themselves don’t want to do this at all. This can happen when people aren’t comfortable being around each other but are forced to do so. And then there is no closeness between them, even though they are physically close.
To be in a relationship, to be part of a relationship, you need to be self-aware.
That is, to be aware of what you want, what you don’t want, and to have the right and the courage to say so. If you don’t realize what is fundamentally important to you, if you don’t realize what you truly want, if you are unable to communicate your own desires and aversions to the person next to you, then there is no intimacy between you. A close relationship is one in which you aren’t afraid of hurting your partner, because you know they will accept you with all your emotions, flaws, and desires.
I wrote about this in more detail in the article “Vulnerability: The Price of Intimacy.” If you feel vulnerable in a relationship, it means that relationship is meaningful to you. After all, it’s only possible to hurt someone who is close to you and open with you. It’s essential to trust the person with whom you share intimacy. You must realize that if a loved one hurts you, it is not intentional. It is essential to adopt the principle in relationships that if a person hurts me intentionally, deliberately, then I do not want to have anything to do with them. However, if I know for certain that this person treats me with kindness, care, and respect, but still hurts me, then it was unintentional. And in that case, I shouldn’t hold a grudge against them. In close relationships, we will occasionally get hurt; you must be prepared for this, as it is inevitable. The opposite extreme of vulnerability is isolation. If you cannot bear vulnerability and choose isolation, then you will become lonely in the relationship, and there will be no emotional intimacy!
What is missing in your relationship for it to feel like a true partnership? At what point and under what circumstances did the intimacy fade? And what do you need to bring into your relationship for it to become a true partnership?
True love
The Energetic Connection Between a Woman and a Man: Harmony Within Oneself
The energetic connection between a woman and a man is a truly remarkable thing. On the one hand, it can create a vast, remarkable biofield that radiates not only vibrations and various emotions, but also large-scale events that affect not only the couple at the center, but also the things and people around them. On the other hand, even after a breakup, due to brief physical contact, the abandoned connection can linger in your body, damaging it. Therefore, the energetic connection formed within the very first 60 seconds of your relationship can influence many events in your life and beyond.
In reality, every relationship between a woman and a man begins with an energetic connection, while family ties begin with a karmic one. If in this life we encounter someone, get to know them, and form a relationship (of any kind)—this already indicates that in past lives, something connected us to this person. And right now, your meeting is no coincidence: perhaps you need to work through, correct, or continue something.
Every physical and emotional connection, even a brief one, leaves its own mark on a person’s life at the energetic level—a mark that lasts for many years. It is a mistake to assume that the energy from a single, casual sexual encounter will vanish immediately once that person leaves your life.
The energetic connection between a woman and a man: what it is like
The foundation of a relationship on a deeper (energetic) level is usually built on initial feelings. After that, it can change its nature depending on how the couple’s relationship progresses and the energy exchange between the woman and the man unfolds. At the same time, the stronger the emotions in the couple, the more remarkable the energy in the relationship: lovers become capable of simultaneously experiencing a multitude of emotions, sensing and understanding each other (sometimes even without words), and directing their energy toward shared happiness and harmony.
So, what kind of energetic connection exists between people who are entering into a relationship? In most cases, it is based on the formation of energetic bridges in the biofields of the woman and the man. Experts identify three levels of connection in opposite-sex relationships.
Sexual connection:
pleasurephysical, but emotional or spiritual. It is intimacy and heartfelt connection. It is what allows us to feel at ease and free when we are with another person.The sexual energy connection between a woman and a man can be based on visual contact (for example, if mutual sexual attraction arises during their first visual encounter) and on physical contact (a vivid moment of closeness between the couple).
In a narrow sense, it is formed through the energy exchange of the first and second chakras. If this connection is not supported by the second chakras and does not transition to a spiritual level, it quickly fades. In other words, the energy exchange connecting the two has low potential and is quickly squandered on sexual relations. Thus, if a man and a woman refer to only physical contact as “love,” without attaching emotional depth or spiritual significance to their relationship, the energetic connection soon falls apart. For this reason, many married couples grow cold toward each other in bed after a few years of shared life, lamenting at the same time the unfortunate daily routine that “eats away at the relationship.”
However, a single instance of intimate physical contact between a man and a woman can leave an energetic connection between them for several years afterward. We will definitely return to this topic to discuss how casual sexual encounters affect one’s future domestic life.
Emotional and energetic closeness: strong emotions, genuine love, empathy, care, and a desire for harmony and happiness.
Women and Connections This level of a man is significantly stronger than the previous one. In most cases, it encompasses the third (life) and fourth (heart) chakras. The energy exchange between a woman and a man occurs at the junctions of all four centers: from Manipura to Anahata. This is a union of love energy and sexual energy, capable of bringing harmony to the couple’s relationship. The interaction between a loving woman and man is enriched with sensuality, euphoria, and emotionality. In this case, the couple’s energy is not depleted but, on the contrary, circulates harmoniously, saturating the entire spiritual and physical being of the person. And only a refusal to maintain this energetic connection between people is capable of destroying it.
Spiritual energy connection: complete harmony, complete love, intuitive connection, agreement, purity of the relationship.
The most remarkable level of energetic connection occurs when all the chakras of two people who love each other are interconnected. True, heartfelt love is enhanced by the ability to sense one another on the highest level of consciousness. A woman and a man can feel each other’s emotions from a distance. Often, they say the same things at the same moment or hear the thoughts of their “other half.” The spiritual connection between a woman and a man circulates through the vast circle of their combined biofields. It is believed that the Holy Spirit fills their communication with His own grace.
A couple bound by spiritual harmony is sure to engage in self-development, holds a genuine faith in the Almighty, and strives to understand existence and the laws of the universe. After the physical act of love, spiritually loving partners experience a surge of strength, vitality, and happiness. Such couples can be together for several consecutive reincarnations, provided, of course, that they manage to hold onto one another.
Therefore, such an energetic connection between a woman and a man is capable of creating a joyful and harmonious family, where love, understanding, and care reign. But in order to reach this level of relationship development, lovers must not forget that they must build this bond through their own feelings and devotion to one another.
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